Mutual Friends

I'm not exactly a goody-two-shoes or a straight arrow. I was neither a dull student. I mean, I survived college unscathed- partially. So I guess it's safe to say I am- as cliche as this may sound- average.

I failed one of my courses on the second semester of my third year in college. I'm not really proud of it, but I am not embarrassed to say that indeed it was the first and only time I've ever flunked at anything academic related.

That summer of 2010, I had no choice but to retake the course. The good thing about it though was that I had the chance to have two advanced classes on courses being offered that summer. It was cool to think that I was an "advance" student.

But still...

So while everyone had the luxury of sunbathing and traveling to postcard-worthy, breathtaking, and awe-inspiring places, I was stuck to doing school stuff while the sun blazed it's hottest. Not that we didn't have air condition, but you get my point.

One summer night, I had an unexpected correspondence (through facebook) from my former classmate in the same course I did not pass. I wondered how he had the nerve to be vacationing in England since we were already graduating next school year. And he did not pass the course as well, did he? I thought it would be impossible for him to pass at all since only ten of our classmates did- out of fifty students. To my amazement, he told me he was indeed able to survive the torture. And then I felt sorry- for the guy because I underestimated him and for myself because I wanted to be in the same situation as him. Nevertheless, I enjoyed talking to him about anything- especially science. Before knowing it, we conversed almost every night and our favorite topic was time travel and theories about the possibility of having another dimension. Though I admit that I sometimes get through our conversations with a heavy heart because I felt too bad for myself and jealous at him. I mean, how was he able to pass when I failed?

I knew him during that same course- the only that we are classmates, by the way... or maybe the only course I know that we are classmates since I was invisible and preoccupied to notice anyway.

One of the days our professor is present, he conducts out-of-this-world quizzes and admits that one of the joys of teaching is the ability to make students sweat blood. To make the long story short, I did not do well in the quizzes our professor gave us. Well, actually I found out later that most of my classmates didn't too. I felt relieved.

One day, during the returning of exam papers, my friends and I were comparing scores. I also compared exam results with him- the guy who is a mutual friend since he's friends with my friend. Then out of nowhere, amidst the classroom babble, we high-fived just because we found out we had the same score. He remarkably was able to put a bookmark in my mind because being high-fived by a person you are not closely acquainted with does not happen to me every day. That's how we started the connection. From a stranger, he became my Facebook friend and from being my Facebook friend, my real life friend. And that's how I found out he was intelligent. Maybe way more intelligent than I am. Obviously. :)

just a test

I could not forget the day I studied for my high school entrance exam. I was sitting in the living room reading the dictionary- a hobby I developed since I was ten- when daddy approached me and told me to review my mathematics.

If I were looking at myself from another person's eyes, I would have seen it full of dread one second, and contorting into a look of disgust, the next. Simply put, I hated math. It wasn't that I'm not good with it but I disliked doing anything concerning it. I was mad at my daddy for stealing my glorious hour of dictionary-reading and I was disappointed with myself for allowing it to happen. At thirteen, I was kind of a spoiled child. I am used to getting things my way.

So when daddy told me to put the dictionary down and handed me the math reviewer, I started to grumble. He was patient with me and even politely gave me the other review materials (paper and pencil- "no calculator!" he said.) I obeyed him but I kept my complaints to myself so he wasn't able to notice about the way I really feel about our tutoring sessions. He tutored me for hours and every time he flicked a new page, or a new problem to solve I crinkled my nose. Eventually, he found out that I wasn't up for math so he told me "If you don't pass the entrance exam of this school, then I wouldn't let you go to any school. It's this school or none."

Maybe I was too afraid of not entering high school. I was too worried that the night after he told me that, I tossed and turned on my bed and woke up for consecutive nights, sweating and recovering from nightmares. Maybe, I realized, I valued education that much to be affected so much by what he said.

After school, I studied and reviewed for the test. I still had nightmares but they became less vivid as I felt more and more confident about the accomplishments I had in my review. Soon, not only me was happy about my achievement, daddy and mommy was too. The day came when I took the exam and I was confident with it and I was sure that I was going to pass it and I was readying myself with the big grin I would give my parents when I see my name on the list of the students that the school will be accepting.

Only that I wasn't able to give the big ol' grin I was practicing. I felt a big pang of disappointment and I could sense that my parents felt it too. I was not an achiever, but I was not a failure. I was just an average student who got more grades than what is enough but not too high as to be included in the honor list. Umm... okay, I was always included in the top ten list of achievers of our class of almost sixty students and that was the reason why I found myself in a different light- or without the light, whatever-you-name-it situation.

Anyway, when I found out that my efforts resulted to nothing, I wanted to cry and hug my mommy or my daddy or any of my younger siblings. I know very well how I tried my best and most of all, I was so scared at not having a secondary education.

I dug my hands on my face and cried for hours. Daddy asked me why I was crying and I told him. He laughed at me and told me it was okay. I told him "No! I won't be going to school after all and I hate myself for letting me lose my chance..."

With this, he laughed more. He told me that he was not really serious when he told me that I really need to pass the entrance exam. He just told me that to test if I really valued education and if I was really serious in my studies. He told me that it was just a challenge on my part- a challenge which could not be necessarily imparted on me.

"Really?" I said wiping my tears with the back of my hand. I can't believe that it was just a test.