Another year has come and gone. I stared at the ceiling and thought about how things have changed this year. Then I started picturing them inside my head as I start to laugh and decide that I'm going to make a list to enumerate things that have happened to me this year. Significant ones that I would love to generously share...
So here is my list... (it's in no particular order... just by the way I remember them.)
1. My youngest brother beat me to chess... because I was overconfident that he's just 4 years old. Hmph! And guess what. He used the "fool's mate!" That only proves what I am that day. haha!
2. We went to Mindoro during summer vacation. It was one of the best adventures our family had.
3. I joined the Carolinian Youth Ministry (CaYM). And the overnight orientation was awesome. I really learned a lot from that experience.
4.I had my 18th birthday party last August, and I'm officially legal. But I'm still prohibited to go bar hopping with my friends. So that deprives me with the night life. But I'm allowed to drive. Very! Only that my daddy said that I was a hot-head and that I could not be a satisfactory driver. Too bad.
5. My youngest brother (again) beat me to karaoke and he scored 100 when he sang "Always be my baby" by Mariah Carey. I guess the scoring was kinda biased because all I heard him sing was the "do do doop" parts and some slurry lyrics. But anyway, he hit the notes right.
6. For the first time, my mom and I watched a movie together. Just the two of us like a date. And coincidentally, the movie was entitled "For the first time" starring KC Concepcion and Richard Guttierez. hahaha...
7. I had my first on being "maid of honor" during my Tita's wedding... and I don't think that went quite well. Don't ask.
8. I'm really going to be married. hah! I was the one who got the "Congratulations, you will be the next bride" paper during my tita's wedding. But mind you, I'm not tying the knot this coming 2009, and not even these 2010 or 5 to 10 years later than that. Promise!
9.I had my own personal song recording, but my family were the only person to hear it.
10. Sadly, I wasn't able to complete the misa de gallo. Unlike last year... I guess I'm slacking so much this year. Tsk2x...
11. I'm kinda more bookish this year but they were not really related to academics. I guiltily admit this.
12. I am not so shy anymore. ( wahaha... I guess that wasn't kinda obvious... but honestly.) Because I had more friends now than last year. I think.
13. My eyebrows aren't "virgin" (what a word) anymore, because the beautician did not ask my permission that she would shave them. And I was shocked when I realized the damage done.
14. I'm trying very hard to lessen my procrastination. But it just got worse this year. (*Sigh)
15. We bought an electric fan, and won another one in a raffle. We bought a new fridge, and we also won another fridge in another raffle. Whoo! I guess that's life.
16. Most of our appliances seem to malfunction a lot this year. I'm not exaggerating. The TV, DVD player, Printer, Scanner, Computer Monitor, an Electric fan, and the Fridge. That's when we bought another one then luck just chose to barge in (see number 15) .
17. I started to like songs that I used to think were weird like ones by Paramore, Linkin'Park or Collective Soul... Or some of the rnb songs. But I still really hate those gangstah songs where babies/children sound at the beginning of the song. I still think "whatever" and roll my eyes.
18. I became addicted to some animes that I dream about them now. And honestly I've learned quite a lot from their stories.
19. I had my first go at playing bowling... All by myself. Umm... not really, I brought one friend but she just watched me play. That was after we watched "Twilight".
20. I am more open this year than last year, and this list just proves that, don't you think? But I'm keeping the face-redding, cheek-hotting, experiences I have this year. Just for your benefit. Haha...
Saturday, December 27, 2008
"I'll keep on living in this never ending snow, so the dreams I shared with you will never melt away."
This was what Hatori Souma said... and it really touched me so much that even though I have heard this line on one of the scenes of an anime (Fruits Basket), I think that it is an unbearable thing for such a character to have a sad past. And a bittersweet one in addition to that. I can't help but cry seeing that scene with Hatori...
Preserving a memory of the past that you really don't want to let go, you keep that memory within you, with great belief that it's okay to hold on. Even though the person you have been offering these dreams has been long gone.
But it's also sad, knowing that the emptiness in your heart, brought about by that snowstorm would not be easily healed... It's too sad, knowing that no matter how hard you would want to wait, Spring would not come.
And the feeling is so painful that it's really better to forget. But Hatori opted to be trapped in that everlasting snow. A snowstorm where the memories would forever circle and engulf him forever.
This was his choice. But did he really make a good one? Why wait for something you know you can't have ever again? I wanted to question him, but then I realized that that's what love really is. That it's willing to make sacrifices no matter what happens. Love let's go, but there will always be something to remind us that it once existed. There is no point in denying that.
What Hatori feels was too great a memory of the past that it did survive in that space where he wanted it to be... forever preserved and untouched.